It can be so hard to feel fulfilled when you feel like something is missing. The best way to get around that is to learn to live a full life. This is a practical guide to finding fulfillment in your single life, not a spiritual one. I’m sure I don’t need to remind you about how important your personal walk with God is to your personal fulfillment. It is the foundation, however, I understand that after you figure out the spiritual part you may need some practical tools to actually do it. I like to think of the spiritual walk as the faith part and the practical as the work because after all faith without works is dead right?

 I think creating a full life is the key to fulfillment. If you build a life that you love you will spend less time missing what you don’t have. When were busy living we are less likely to believe were lacking. So, I encourage you to look at what you need to be happy outside of a husband and build your life around that. Below is how I’m creating a fulfilling life and some things you can try as well:

1.     Fill your life with activities that you love. What are your hobbies? What would you do for free? Do those things. This is the time to be involved. You never know who you might meet. Volunteer to help someone. Spend your time learning a new language. Travel with friends to see the world. I just recently Started horseback riding. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do and I have the time so I thought why not? I’m going to be intentional about building a life I love.

2.     Find people that are traveling the single journey with you. That has been the biggest thing that has saved me. Having someone to discuss the highs and lows of this single journey with makes all the difference. I talk all the time with my single friends and I cannot tell you how much easier it was to share my feelings with someone that I knew could relate. You could even go a step further and create a reoccurring girls’ night out as a way to celebrate your singleness.

3.     Find a worthy cause to give your time to. Give back. Perhaps you can volunteer in a sorority and do community service. Maybe you make it a point to connect other people with careers that will help them. Giving back can look more than one way. Have you ever given your time to something or someone and felt bad? Nope, you haven’t. When you give there is no way you can be empty. You will have joy just by helping someone else.

 These keys to fulfillment will help to keep you firmly rooted when you finally do enter into a relationship. When you create a full life you’re not going to be a drain to your husband because you have your own life and are intentional about creating your own happiness. You’re also going to be much more interesting as a person and more well rounded. I hear so many women say that they lose themselves in being a wife and a mom. Having a core group of friends and activities/ hobbies that you can carry into marriage will remind you that you are more than a wife and a mother.

Fall is upon us. We are literally entering a new season and a new quarter. What are you going to do with it? An even better question is what are you supposed to do with it? I’ve shared this before but I think it’s worth repeating. “Every season can be yours if you know what to do in it.”

We know this time in the pandemic is purposed. We have never seen anything like it before and it will likely never happen this way again at least not in our lifetime.  If you have wasted the last few months this is your opportunity to turn it around and use this pandemic as preparation time. Don’t miss this divinely appointed time to do what God has purposed for you to do.

As I reflect on the last few months, I think about how many people are no longer with us. It makes you realize how much more important our time is on this earth. Time is a scarce resource and while I don’t think that’s news to anybody, it is easy to forget that with the hustle and bustle of life.  Every day is literally a gift, and when I stand before God at the end of all this I want to be able to say I used it well, especially this time.

Time is an investment. Many people understand the concept of investing money and expecting a return because we’ve been taught to make our money count. We have all heard that “money doesn’t grow on trees. We understand the necessity of stewarding our money wisely. It is the same with our time. What will you offer to God as a result of the time you have had in these past months?

What skill did you sharpen? What purpose did you chase? What time did you spend with loved ones? What extra time did you spend growing your relationship with God? How we use time is just as important as how we spend money. We need to be good stewards of both.

In this new season pray for discernment about what you should be doing and do that. Devote your time to the thing that God is blessing. Use this season well. This time has value. This season is different from the last, it is divinely purposed. It’s the last quarter in this year. Finish strong.

Recently, there was a headline that was published that said: “Stephen King and his wife donated $1.2 million to a genealogical society.” After reading the headline Stephen king stated that the gift was not his idea but his wife’s idea and that his wife has a name: Tabitha King.

 Tabitha King said this in response; “In recent media coverage of a gift that my husband and I made to the New England Historical and Genealogical Society, we became Stephen king and his wife. Wife is a relationship or status. It is not an identity.

 I’m sure when Tabitha read this headline she thought to herself, “I have a name.” Society has taught us that everything needs a label, but as the bible demonstrates for us in Genesis it is important to label a thing correctly. It is God who does that. The creator names the thing he created.   We typically identify ourselves by groupings/ categories, roles, titles, social and relational statuses. Most often the first things we share with others about ourselves are the labels that we or society has given us but I want to challenge us to identify ourselves the way God identifies us when he created us and for us not to give anyone else that power.

 What makes up YOUR personal identity? What is it comprised of? For some of us it is being/becoming a wife, For others, it's being a mom, for some its career, our identity is tied to productivity and in always being busy (so we can tell people that were booked and busy).

 We often ask ppl where do you work, what area do you live in, and whats your sign as if these things are conclusory. These things may help you know a person better but they are certainly not defining factors on who somebody really is. They merely describe something.

 Our identity is important because it’s our base- it’s the belief system out of which we make choices. It reveals to us how we feel about how God sees us. If We believe we are loved unconditionally, we tend to think more highly of ourselves and make choices that reflect that.

 When you know who you are – you don’t look to titles, roles, and relational status for your identity because you understand that all those things are temporary- and lasting fulfillment that comes from God is what’s eternal. Looking for fulfillment in those things can be an idol because what you’re really saying is I believe that something other than God can satisfy me.

 Your identity should be rooted in:

1) Who you belong to- You are a child of God. First and foremost. Your confidence comes from who you belong to. Confidence that you are loved, and that you can do anything that God empowers you to do. The knowing that you’re perfect because he made you.

2. Your spiritual gifts & purpose- what gifts has God given you for the world and what/who has he called you to be or do? How can you serve others?

3. Passion and personality-what is your natural bend for? What things interest you? 

These things are who you are. NOT status, titles, and roles. Be focused on perfecting those. Become the best you, refine who God called you to be. These are the parts of your identity that are real and true. Not the labels of this world.

When you see yourself accurately, in view of all that God made you to be and who he called you to be there no way you can live beneath the calling on your life. To live as anything less than what God said is to be less than he has called you to be.