I have now been in my house for about 3 months and I am finally getting settled in. I still have a guest bedroom that’s completely empty so I’m working on that. But more than the decorating I know that the larger purpose of this house is to help prepare me for marriage.

For those of you that don’t know I used to live with my parents and I really enjoyed it for years because I get along with them. However, in living with them I didn’t have to cook every day for myself. I had a much smaller area to clean and oftentimes I was called to on to do other things so my schedule wasn’t always mine.

Well as most of you know living by yourself changes that. You are responsible for you. I know the type of wife and mom I want to be. I want to be physically fit, successful in my job or business, a wife/mom that still cooks and bakes with her kids, I want to have a clean house, I want to still teach bible study or mentor in some form and I want to do it all well without my other relationships suffering. Well, guess what?

In order to do more in the future, I have to have the capacity for that and the time to build it is now. I don’t have it yet so I’m trying to build the systems that will allow me to do that. So over this next year, that’s my plan.  You’re literally going to see me planning more, scheduling time, and prioritizing my goals so that I can produce.

On a practical level that looks like me working out, making time for my friends, blogging regularly. Keeping my home clean and organized and cooking. The kind of blessings I want, I know will keep me busy. I’m working hard to learn to manage that.

 I’m trying hard to become that woman. My home purchase is part of that journey. So I really encourage you if you’re single and live alone to take advantage of this time to build. Build the life you want to have in the future and become the woman who can sustain it.

 This year I had two words. Normally I would just do a post about it but I thought I would be able to explain more thoroughly here since I had more than one.

The first word is Rhythm. The definition of rhythm is a strong, regular, repeated pattern of movement or sound. I think last year I did a decent job of implementing some things that I want to change but still, the work continues. I read something a while ago that said “Your routine in this season is going to be your warfare strategy in the next.” I truly believe that. Now, I would like to create consistent habits to the point that it begins to form a pattern in my life. Hence, the word rhythms.

I want to have a method that I naturally gravitate to in my life. For example: When things happen in my relationships, is my first response to pray and ask God for perspective, or do I run to the phone?  Do I create habits that support prayer and quiet time the night before so that I am not missing it in the morning? Am I well prepared to show up (and be on time) as the person I want to be every day? What rhythms support my life’s goals? That is what I want to focus on creating this year. I want the rhythm to be as natural as breathing for me so that excellence is a way of life, not something that I’m always trying to achieve.

My second word is leap. I tend to lean into what’s comfortable- what’s stable. Sometimes I need to just take the leap. Leap by definition means to jump or spring a long way, to a great height, or with great force. This word is a little different from rhythm in that rhythms are something I need to create. Leap is something I think the Lord is asking me to do and more of a projection of what I would like to him do in my life. I know I have to be willing to jump but I’m trusting Him to take me further than I could have gone alone. This is the year I feel him calling me to just take the leap and trust him. I have been turning over the idea of doing some mentoring for women this year and I just haven’t pulled the trigger yet… I don’t know why. I don’t know if it’s rooted in fear or what. However, I do know I have to trust God enough to step out of the boat.

I’m curious to know, what’s your word for 2020? If you’re wondering how I arrived at mine I try to just reflect in my quiet time on the one thing that I really feel like God is saying to me. Then I look to see if that can be summed up in a word. Then I pray about it and look for confirmation around it. Sometimes that can be seeing the word everywhere I go or reading it in the bible. I just try to leave room for God to speak. Try these steps if you don’t yet have a word. Let me know if you need help!!!

I’ve done counseling with my mentor for going on 8 years now and the one thing that she consistently preaches is the importance of managing your thoughts. Almost all of my anxiety finds its origin in my thought life. The idea that something MIGHT happen, the idea that I might be disappointed or that something might not work out the way I want it to is often what sends me over the edge. My thoughts have a way of consuming me and If I’m not careful I will make decisions based on those thoughts that I later regret.

Being able to manage your thoughts is how you manage your life. Our thoughts are critical 1. They shape our perspective 2. They inform who we will become 3. They influence how we see God.

They shape our perspective. The bible says in Philippians 4:8, “whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things” Why? Because feelings follow thoughts. If you think negatively about something long enough you will start to believe it. Then your mood changes, your outcome, and disposition change. I remember feeling at one point that in comparison to my friends my life would be boring and that I would lack accomplishments, and honestly, sometimes I still feel that way. The problem is thinking that way discounts all of the blessings and all of the joy I have experienced.

They inform who we will become. “As a man thinks in his heart, he will be,” Proverbs 23:7. What you meditate on you will become. Actions follow your thoughts.  God said it, Toure Roberts said it, my mentor said it and so has author James Clear (Atomic Habits). If you believe that you are a person who is a high achiever and does excellent work, you will begin to show up like that. Why? Because who you believe yourself to be is who you’ll become. I tell myself every morning that I am a person who drinks water because I believe in taking care of and hydrating my body; and during the day that thought pops back in my head and I am reminded that I need to drink more water in order to become that person.

They influence how we see God. This statement is loaded because in large part how we see God is very closely tied to what we know about him.  When you don’t know him well you don’t see him correctly. When we don’t manage our thoughts and allow fear, negativity, and untruth to run rampant, our mind becomes a devil’s playground. He causes us to doubt what God said, who he is, our abilities, and our value.

If you control your thoughts, you control your life. If you don’t control them they control you. The consequence of that is anxiety, depression, and who knows what else. You have one life to live. Manage your thoughts so you can live it well.