Waiting is one of the most difficult things to do, yet it is the one thing that we do most often. Some of us have planned our whole lives around being married and sometimes that is what makes waiting that much more difficult. First I wanted to share a framework for waiting, then I wanted to share some practical tips that I hope will be helpful.

1.     Your waiting is not in vain. God doesn’t just have us waiting for no reason. He is intentional, so everything he does is purposeful. If it is his will for you to be married he will bring/send someone. He is working, you have to trust him.

2.     You won’t be disappointed-God isn’t going to give us something that we don’t want. I used to have this irrational fear that my husband would be some man that I wasn’t attracted to. Then I’m like why would God do that? He created us with our desires and he knows how were wired. God knows how to meet and exceed expectations. You WILL be disappointed If you do it yourself. I can guarantee that. If you settle you will never get all that God has promised. I’m telling you now that its time to put action behind your faith.

 Wait like you believe he is coming

●      Be willing to earn what you’re asking God for. Changed behavior indicates maturity and maturity equals readiness.

●      Be worthy of the kind of man you’re asking God for. Your character is key.

●      Be a woman that is Godly, you attract what you are, not what you want. And IF you’re able to attract it you won’t be able to keep it.

 Live like you actually believe he is coming

 Your life should reflect that you believe the lord is sending you a man and that he could show up on your door step at any moment. You need to be listening to the voice of God over every other voice. God calls us to live like we know he is coming back soon. The same thing applies here. Believe for your mate. Save the best parts of you for him and vice versa. When we get in relationships that are not God connections we struggle, we run the risk of being damaged, and then having to work that much harder to be whole again.

The biggest thing God asks us to do is believe him. Read the story where Joshua sends Caleb to spy out the land (numbers 13). The people did not believe they could take the land and as a result they literally settled and died where they were. When you don’t believe you can have something you will take anything. You have to let go of what is subpar to get God’s best. If you won’t learn to wait for it there will be nothing to wait for.

If you remain unmarried past a certain point in your life there are two thoughts that I can guarantee that you have had. 1. I wish I was married by now. 2. I’m so glad I didn’t marry who I thought I was wanted to marry.

Although I do desire to be married, there are some relationships that I am glad didn’t make it down the aisle. That is the gift that time has given me: hindsight, evaluation and self-awareness. I do want to be married but to the right person and the right way. It can be hard to wait but I want remind you that there are some benefits to waiting.

In “The meaning of marriage” Author Timothy Keller says that the greatest number of marriages that end in divorce, as it relates to age, are those that happen before 18. However, marrying after 25 makes your chances of divorce relatively low. That’s great news, right? At least when you finally find the person yall have a better chance of staying married. You may be thinking “25 would have been fine,- I’m well over 25 now.” That may be true but technically there are still some benefits to waiting.

  Later in life, you are more likely to be grounded in who you are. By then you have had some losses and some lessons. Hopefully, you know what you want and don’t want and know what pitfalls to avoid. Time gives you the benefit of experience and hopefully, experience gives you wisdom and allows you to choose a good mate for marriage. 

Let’s be clear though, even when you finally get married there is always more work to do inside the marriage. I don’t think we ever finish growing. My mentor says some people do the work on the front end before marriage, some do it on the back end inside the marriage. Well for those of us doing the growing on the front end and hopefully marriage on the back end I want to encourage you to keep hope alive. Your day is still coming, your process just may look a little different.

Being last isn’t fun but at 33 it definitely allows you to learn from others’ mistakes. Time can be a burden or a luxury. It’s a burden if we only see time as punishment and not as preparation. It can be a luxury if we use it to our advantage and prepare while we wait. The benefit is not in waiting but in what we do with the time while we wait.