Frozen Eggs

Two months ago I turned 33, 2 years before 35- when pregnancies officially become high risk. I’ve always wanted kids and I’ve always planned to have them. But, the planning is looking a little different these days because at the moment I’m not planning with a husband., I’m now faced with the possibility of planning with a doctor.

There is so much conversation now around women waiting later to marry and using unconventional methods to have kids. I think about it all the time. “Freezing your eggs is like insurance- just in case.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that. Then, on the other hand, I think- “There are plenty of women who get pregnant after 35. In fact, I know women in their early 30’s that are struggling.

I believe that it is God that opens wombs and closes them. I also believe that God gives us wisdom and science as well. To be honest I struggle the most with the idea of having my eggs outside my body. Literally. Call me strange, but I’m paranoid and feel like I don’t know what they are going to do with my eggs once they take them out.

When I weigh the decision in my natural mind, I’m of the opinion that even if I freeze them the success rate isn’t high. Most people freeze upwards of 20 eggs to have one or two make it through the defrosting process (embryo’s freeze better than individual eggs). Then there is the toll it takes on your body (the hormonal changes that you go through). You also have to count the costs associated with freezing them until you’re ready to use them… So many things consider.

Then spiritually, I consider that again, it is the Lord who opens and closes a womb, I remember how many women in the bible were considered to be barren until God moved on their behalf and they became pregnant. I still believe in modern-day miracles.

I don’t have the answer. And as I write this I still haven’t made up in my mind what I’m going to do. However, what I do know is that I am going to examine the motive of my heart behind every decision. If I freeze my eggs is it out of fear? Fear that God won’t come through for me? Fear that he isn’t still working miracles? Fear that if I’m not supposed to have kids and that’s what I’ve always wanted are his plans still not better than my best dreams?

Am I making the choice out of wisdom? Recognizing that God gave us science. And that at the end of the day he is STILL the God that opens and closes wombs. So if I’m meant to have a baby he will provide that to me whether naturally, through IVF or adoption.

I’m just asking questions. I’m leaving room for God to answer! Feel free to comment below. I would love to hear your thoughts!