As a woman who desires to be married in the future I believe that the training ground for that is now. When I do get married I want it to be good, however, that will require work in all areas.  Honesty moment: I have a little- very little, problem with nagging. (You can probably hear the sarcasm in my words ha!) My problem with nagging is what inspired this chart! I wrote this flowchart for me, I'm just sharing it with yall lol!! Oftentimes (with women in particular) when we begin to feel as though people are not listening to us and our needs aren't being met we tend to nag. Somehow we believe that if we discuss something over and over again people or in my case my significant other, will hear me and fix the issue. That is a complete lie!!!! I found that when I did it, it annoyed him and frustrated me. I thought to myself there has got to be a better way. There is. It's called Prayer! Prayer is the only real solution because it is the only thing that brings lasting change. When you start to feel as though you have an issue that you want to addresswith someone take it to God FIRST. Let him show you what to do. Then after you have talked to God and given him time to talk to you, if you still feel the need then you can address it with that person.

I hope you all find this to be helpful. Use it as a reference when you begin to feel a nag coming on!

So I gave up shopping for lent… Why would a girl ever do that?  Well I did it because while I do personally believe that shopping can be a hobby, I felt that I was becoming discontent with what I had. Nothing was ever enough. I bought a black bag now I need a new brown one. Or, I bought a skirt and now I need a top. Let me be clear I don’t think that having or desiring nice/new things is a sin. However, when you spend excessive amounts of time online shopping or you become dissatisfied with what you have it can become a problem.

 About halfway through giving up shopping for lent I really started to struggle. Now that I can’t shop everything is on sale. I see people with things I want and then I start thinking about how I need to add that to my wardrobe …One day I was at work and a lady came in with this Chanel fragrance that I loved and I complimented her on it. Then I mentally added that to my list of things I’m going to buy when lent is over (which completely defeats the purpose lol).  

Fast forward about 2 and a half weeks later and this same lady comes back to my job but this time on her way out she places the perfume next to me. She said, “I wanted you to have it, you have been so sweet to me.” Ya’ll I was so touched by her kindness, other than seeing me twice she didn’t know me at all but still she gave me her perfume. Then I became inspired by her. What things do I have that I would be willing to give away to others? Because after all, they are things. Finally, as I reflected even more I was grateful to God. I never prayed for the perfume because I thought to myself that I would just buy it. But this situation reminded me that God listens to me even when I'm not praying. And like a good father he meets all my needs and most of my wants.

While I haven’t been perfect with getting rid of the desire to shop for lent God still saw my effort and honored that. He blessed me by having someone give me something that he knew I wanted. God honors your sacrifice. I could have bought the perfume with my own money but it was so much more special to have it given to me. Don’t just look at God to give you the big things like a mate, or a house or career. Seek God and his ways for everything. He cares about all the desires of your heart (Psalms 37:4), even the small ones that you fail to mention!

 This year I promised to share more of my life personally, so here it is… Lately I really feel like God has been showing me how much I really need to lean and depend on the Holy Spirit’s guidance in my life. The bible says there is a way that seems right to a man but the end is destruction, proverbs 14:12 (I paraphrased that) I consider myself to be pretty mature, and fairly responsible. I am very analytical so I usually think about decisions and weigh them before I make them. However, in all my wisdom I still don’t know all the variables in a particular situation to make the absolute best decision I could make.

In the past few weeks I have had at least 3 situations come up where I either didn’t know what I should do or I made a decision in the moment and am now wondering if it was the best decision I could have made. In particular I have had relational concerns with people. For example, do I address concerns about problems with a friend that multiple people have noticed or do I just keep loving them and wait on God to show me what role I’m supposed to play in their life. Or there are situations with other people where I let things happen and then afterwards I question whether or not I should have stepped in thinking that maybe if I had things would be different. I still don’t know the answer to some of those questions but one thing is clear: I need the Holy Spirit to save me from myself. Save me from my thoughts, my ways, my logic… It’s all wrong because it’s all limited to my human understanding.

I don’t have time to second guess my decisions and I definitely don’t have time to get to the end and realize I had it wrong from the beginning. It is the Holy Spirit that gives light in dark situations. He illuminates my thinking and gives me revelations… I cannot do life well without him. I especially can’t do relationships because I cannot fully understand another human being without his impartation. What difficult decisions are you making that you need guidance for? I encourage you to talk to God about it and then expect him to answer. Just the other night as I was getting ready to go to sleep God told me to spend the hour with him- what a difference it has made. Not because anything monumental happened in that hour, but because in that time spent, I am being transformed.  As I become more like God and less like myself, I grow closer to him, and the closer I am the more clearly I hear him, make better decisions, and know God’s will for my life.  A life lived following the Holy Spirit equals sound decisions and creates a life without regret.